17 weird things I do to regulate my nervous system
Don't judge me! They work!
A lot of days, I feel like there’s a web browser in my brain with 87 tabs open and none of them are loading. Like, brain is fully buffering.
I could blame it on my ADHD, but even under that, I know it’s overwhelm and overstimulation from trying to do too much at once or spending too much time in front of screens.
Also, it’s hard to stay clear-headed and not to crumble under the weight of a new unprecedented event hitting your newsfeed every few days.
We all know that our bodies weren’t built to handle this level of input, stress, or honestly just Capitalism. And yet here we are, still finding ways to keep our heads up and fight for a better world. Or, at least that’s what I’m doing… I don’t know about you.
This means there are a ton of weird little things I do all the time to keep my nervous system regulated and today I’m going to share 17 of them. I do not promise that all of it will be for you, but I hope you’ll find at least one little thing to help you get back into your body instead of numbing and dissociating (oh, and none of them involve yoga or meditation, although I do also swear by those.)
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17 weird things I do to regulate my nervous system
Yelling / Screaming
While these suggestions will be in no particular order, I do think this one is the holy grail of nervous system regulation. However, it’s not easy to do in the modern world when so many of us live stacked on top of each other in apartment buildings with paper-thin walls.
I once spent every Saturday night for months going to a breathwork class in the middle of Los Angeles, because we got to do a primal scream at the end of every class. There I would be, sobbing and screaming in a meditation studio in Hollywood, and I have never felt peace quite like the way I felt leaving that room.
If you can do so safely, I recommend screaming into the ocean, or off the edge of a cliff. Bonus points if you bring friends! Group scream.
If you cannot do so safely, fear not my sweet friend! Here are 3 other forms of screaming that will do the trick:
Pillow Screams: grab your nearest pillow, smash your face in there, and let ‘er rip!
Silent shower screams: next time you’re in the shower, make the physical motions of screaming but let it come out as an airy-breathy sound instead. Sounds weird, but tbh I always feel better, so I don’t question it. Also, I told you these suggestions would be weird.
Car Screams: If you have a car, scream in the car while you’re alone! God, I love doing this.
Humming
A long, low hum that tickles your lips and you feel deep in your chest cavity… chef’s f*cking kiss. This one is like dislodging the tension in your upper body with sound. It’ll probably feel weird at first, but it’s quick and effective to do a few cycles of deep hums. If you feel weird doing it at home, go take a walk and try it.
Vocal Sighs
The vocal sigh is a cousin of humming and screaming. It’s definitely a lot more socially acceptable and still feels fucking great.
Take a deep breath into your diaphragm/belly and and release the breath with whatever sound comes with it! Nothing about it is forced, it’s more about naturally releasing the sounds we might otherwise try to repress in order to be demure and mindful. Try it right now if you don’t believe me!
Jumping and shaking it out
Dissociation and survival mode often mean we energetically disconnect from our physical bodies. Dissociation always feels like I have fully vacated the premises without even realizing it (Elvis Anna has left the building.)
Jumping up and down or shaking it out helps me get back into my body quickly. Sometimes I just do a few jumps standing at my desk if I’ve been locked in for too long or shake out my arms and legs.
You know in Planet Earth when you see a gazelle being hunted by a lion, but it narrowly escapes becoming dinner? Watch what happens next — they shake. Next time your dog loses its shit over the mailman, watch what happens next: a little full body shake to release the stress. You’re no different. We’re all animals/
In Amelia and Emily Nagoski’s wonderful book Burnout, they cite shaking it out as an essential part of completing the stress cycle.
Standing barefoot in the grass
Earthing! Grounding! Sinking your little toes in between the blade of grass! This. Shit. Works.
Dancing and blasting music
Shaking ass also works!
Somatic movement (any movement that prioritizes how it feels over how it looks) is one of the most powerful tools we have for emotional processing and dancing is one of the most fun ways to engage in somatic movements.
Back in March I did a 7-day experiment called the Daily Dance Party where I blasted music and danced for 10 minutes and let me tell you — if you’re in a funk. Try this and report back.
🔎 You can read more about that here:
Headphone-free walks
When I was at the pit of my depression, I wasn’t leaving the house. So, I gave myself the goal of just stepping outside once a day. Eventually I started going for walks around the block with a podcast. Then, eventually I started taking even longer walks.
THEN, one day my headphones died and I was forced to listen to the birds and meet my neighbors when their dogs wanted to come up and say hi. Reader, this changed me on a profound level.
Headphone-free walks have become an essential part of my life now. I go out daily for a ~2 mile walk that grounds, connects, and inspires me like nothing else. I swear by this practice now, and I don’t know why more of us aren’t doing it.
🔎 You can read more about that here:
Tech Rest
In general, spending less time on your phone will regulate your nervous system like nothing else on this list. This is all part of practice I call Tech Rest, which (for me) looks like deleting social media off my phone every weekend and only having it on my phone when I’m actively using it during the week for work (4-5 hours a week).
It looks like hiding my phone behind my laptop when I’m working.
It looks like headphone-free walks and leaving my phone inside while I lay outside in the yard with my book.
Sometimes, it even looks like turning my phone off when I go to bed on Saturday night so I can wake up with the birds and my book and cup of coffee for a lazy Sunday morning. If you want to feel more grounded, I promise you, Tech Rest is an excellent path to go down.
Sit and stare time
This has become another great Tech Rest practice: every morning I wake up and make a coffee and then I go sit on my sofa and stare out the window or at the wall or just casually into space while I slowly wake up and my phone is in another room (are you picking up on a theme here???)
🔎 You can read more about that here:
Legs up the wall
If the day has gone sideways and everything feels upside down, weirdly, putting yourself upside down will do wonders. My friend and ADHD Physical Therapist
recently shared with me that inversions can be incredibly regulating when we feel disconnected from our bodies.My favorite inversion is something called legs up the wall.
Find an uncluttered space in your home and lie on you back will scooching your butt close to the where the floor and wall meet. Put your legs straight up and rest your heels against the wall.
You’ll probably start to feel the blood draining out of your feel and toward your hips, where (for those paying close attention!) your Root Chakra is located. That’s the seat of your sense of belonging, trust, and connection to the physical world and it’s usually associated with feelings of grounding, security, and stability.
🔎 You can read more about that here:
Low light showers
To me, luxury is a low-light shower or bath in the middle the day.
No big lights!!!! Having a small lamp in your bathroom or using the natural light that comes through the window during the day is best.
Low stimulation is key here. It’s actually the whole point, so at most I might put on some spa music, but I think silence is best.
More comedy, whimsy, and laughter
Self-help can become an addiction. There, I said it!!!
Without even realizing it, our lives can become so goddamn serious, and some of y’all need to just be sillier and laugh more. Laughter is profoundly regulating, especially when done with other people in the same room.
Life can get really heavy, and therefore I would like to be more of a silly goose. It’s true what they say — laughter really is medicine.
Hold animals
Animals are completely in the present moment, so I always find it so grounding to hold one. Mine, mostly, but I always stop to say hi to my neighbors dogs and look into their little eyes and hold their little faces and scratch their little ears. Ugh! I love animals.
Declutter something
When all else fails, cleaning out a cabinet or closet will make you feel more in control. Try not to go too big so that you get overwhelmed! The point is to feel more grounded, so start small and manageable, maybe just clean your desk or put away a doom pile.
I asked around for ideas from the community and you’re all funny as hell and incredibly creative, so here are some of my favorites that you contributed:
Dancing like a stripper in the kitchen
Driving with all the windows down and letting the air whip around
Go to my local ashram and unload on the women there who are both crazier than me and yet have their shit together
Sing the thing that is happening and/or needs to be done, a la Elf going “I’m singing! I’m in a store and I’m singing!”
I pretend I’m giving an in-depth interview as though I’m terribly successful at what I do to a super popular podcaster or NPR reporter while driving in the car. Out loud, to myself, usually incorporating casual chuckles, and “Oh, that’s a wonderful question. Thank you!”
What would you add to this list? What’s something unusual that calms and regulates you?
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one big one I forgot is to throw a medicine ball against the ground or against the wall 😇
I also talk to myself about anything and everything like I’m being interviewed, especially like if I’m driving and don’t want to listen to anything or if I’m just standing in the closet putting away laundry. I didn’t realize other people do it too! 🥳